I am writing this because someone closed to my heart hurt me…
Well, I don’t know if she intentionally do that or she just lacks of word to make it sound better. I asked someone what does she think about my blog, I asked her because I am happy on what I’m doing and I’m proud of it. At first she doesn’t answer I get it, she might be focusing on something in her phone. So I asked her again if she ever read my blog, and this is what she said in exact words “I read it once but it’s not interesting, the way you wrote it is not interesting” the moment I heard that, confidence slip easily in my shoulders I totally loose all the confidence I have. I know this person loves me or maybe care for me, but why are you going to hurt someone you loved right? I told her it’s not nice and she could have picked a better word, and there it goes those sentences like “you are asking I’m just answering” and “don’t ask if you don’t want to hear my answer” before that we are fine, we are talking and joking. I don’t know maybe it makes her feel better if everyone around her is not as good as she is,
The thing is that this person is really hard to pleased, She doesn’t even proud of me and like everything I do is not as good as she do it. She doesn’t know how to drive but every time she is in the back seat she will always tell me that I drive like a lunatic and I can never impressed her with my driving style because once she learned it she will be a lot better than me. I don’t know if this is tough love but it’s not right.
I am just thinking she have a rough past and every time she say something like that, makes her feel a little bit good of herself, so why I should robbed that feeling from her. Maybe it makes her feel a better person, so I just need to be silent about that and gave it to her,
its the least I can do. .
For those who don’t know me, I did not finish college, I barely step in the classroom. I’m a tough kid back then. I run away from home most of the time and I like doing things my way. By the way I’m also the only one in my father side who doesn’t have a fancy degree. So how could I defend myself from her? And does it make sense if I know from inside who I am,. I may not be academically smart, don’t have that PRC card, and doesn’t have a profile picture in my fb in that grad gown. But I have street smarts and a little bit of luck, I have a full time job and lived by myself, paid my own rent bought my own car, bought my own furniture and built my very own fortress of solitude. But people has everything to say. I don’t have to state everything I did for validation but for proof that you should NEVER EVER LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE!!- NEVER!! If I listen to those people who said I’m not smart, I’m not good, I’m not beautiful, I’ll never see Koln Coliseum , Nurnberg Messe, Dusseldorf, Beijing and Shanghai for free! So maybe I’m smart or lucky or maybe I’m just kind. You don’t have to be really smart you just have to be yourself and be the kindest person you can. You can never go wrong with being kind, TRUST ME!
If there is one thing I learned from living in the street, is that most people will hate you for no effin reasons, they will hurt you badly it is not just as bad when people dear to you did it, but it still hurts. They will torn you down to little pieces and try to make you feel insignificant. But always remember nobody can make you feel
inferior with out your content. You may not be the brightest crayon in the box, someday you will have just the right shade to paint something wonderful.
And for the person who hurt me, It’s okay…. I understand you and I will keep on understanding you. It’s my duty to do that, and I’ll still take a bullet for you and care for you. But baby, sometimes please be sensitive because not all the people you will meet will understand and overlooked the details you will say and see that you have a good heart. I don’t want anyone to hurt you and if they did I will still be in your side and will fight for you.
(photo grabbed from google)